Where Does it Hurt?

This question has been haunting me for the past week or so...Why? Because it seems as if my whole career is riding on whether my my answer isn't "creative enough" or not. I could miss out on getting in to the Creative Advertising program, which has been a dream and a goal for about a year now.

First off, what an open ended question...It's vague enough to cause my brain to go numb just thinking about it. But that's the art of it, because your mind is able to go just about anywhere with this question, and just about nowhere at the same time. Every time I ponder about the question, the only thing that keeps coming to mind is the idea of Generation Rx. We live in a generation where pills are digested more than vegetables for some, which is wild to even think about. Back in the day, I feel as if people just rolled with the punches when it came to sickness and pain. Call me old fashioned, but sleep is the best medicine...I'll take a bottle of slumber, than a bottle of Hydrocodone any day!

There are pills for everything, and I mean everything. You got a problem? Then there's a pill out there for you...you name it, "we got it." I feel as if our society can't live without pills, but we have survived for so long without them. I'm not promoting any sort of anti-prescription pills, I'm just trying to raise more awareness of the fact that these drug companies need to be regulated more. I mean there's no way some of these pills are healthy, look at the side effects: enlarged breasts for men? AMNESIA? DEATH?!?! Decrease in testicle size??? Cancer? WHAT...In...The World! I mean none of that even sounds remotely cool.

Regulation is a hard a pill to digest (see what I did there...very corny) for these drug companies, because of the money, but it needs to happen!

Shame, Shame, Shame

We pride ourselves on having the latest technology and weaponry, building awe-stricken architecture, and having sophisticated communications systems. Evolving and transforming technologically, Optimus Primus in the flesh. But the moment we are required to show one ounce of humanity to fellow man, we begin to devolve...shame shame shame.

There have been days where I wasn't able to come in contact with any sort technology, and while its true that I have had to get used to things like having no microwave sometimes, or having unreliable WIFI, I've also seen a lack of human spirit and the value of comradery. People here worship the mighty dollar (I'm guilty too) praising everything that brand new luxury car represents. Meanwhile in third world countries, I'm sure there has been a time where a crowd of strangers rush to the aide of a car crash victim, bare-handedly extracting the victims body from the wreck of his once brand new, American car...shame shame shame.

What is modernity? Does it even matter?

RETROFUTURISTIC FLY: PTERODACTYL

I made some "retro-futuristic" art pieces and thought I'd add them to the blog. Enjoy:

The theme was to revisit vintage NASA pictures, and add my own twist to them. Seeing that the name of the blog is, "A retro Future", these pieces go hand in hand with the blog.

Time aint waiting on NOBODY

The crazy thing about life is that in your youth you spend a lot of your time wanting to grow up. This is apparent when you were asked "how old are you?" and replied "I'm 6... and a half" with so much pride. Its was as if we had to age ourselves to feelcooler. We had to let the world know that we were almost 7. And how could we help it? We constantly saw the older kids, teens, and young adults doing things that we just couldn't do. While our 18 year old cousin came home at whatever hour he felt was good, we had to be in bed by 8:00pm. And on the nights you weren't sleepy at all, you found yourself lying in you bed, in the dark, counting sheep, wishing you were older so that you wouldn't have to follow any silly rules.

And now your about to be 22 and your realizing what a special time your youth was. It was a time when everything is simple. You had no kind of responsibilities, no worries, and are yet to be tainted by life experience. At age 20, I have come to realize that time is of the essence. Just this year I have lost 2 of my fellow family members. The loss made me realize that I still have my life and that I should live it to the fullest while I can. I no longer have this sense that time is endless, like I once did as a young boy.

I say all of this to say, that I don't want to waste time. I know I sound like an that one 'old guy in the barbershop', but time is sooo precious. Why wait to do something tomorrow when you may not even see tomorrow?? I want to get to know as many people as I can. I want to love someone while I can, I want to be loved while I can. I want to be successful while I can, I want to achieve all my goals while I can, I want to do everything I desire to do while I can. And I do not want to waste time doing things I don't want to do or spending time with people I don't want to be with. 

So if you know me, you may see a new me. An improved me. A more honest me. A more true me. A more fun me. A more real me. I don't have time for anything less. 

I really appreciate it...

I just want to thank God/the universe/the forces that be, for surrounding me with friends and especially fam who inspire me to be a better me. These people continue to challenge and teach me more about themselves and myself. These people, although few, are something truly special. They spark my imagination, inspire me more than they will ever know, and give me strength by exemplifying courage in their own lives. And above all, they inspire me. 

Thank you all for the memories, advice, hard-learned lessons, and unconditional love...


If you fam, you fam...ONE LOVE! 

15 facts

1. I have a deeply embedded love affair with blogging now and I am obsessed with the idea of recording one's internal workings on paper or blog, for what its worth.
2. I need to be challenged in order to be productive. 
3. Man I wish my potential, matched my work ethic. 
4. I'm misunderstood.
5. I hate the texture/smell/taste of most seafood, but envy those who know their seafood.
6.  North Carolina Blue and black are my favourite colours, but I wear too much black!
7. I often toy with the idea of picking a destination at random, buying a one-way flight and seeing what unfolds (till reality reminds me of the limits of being a female).
8. I'm deathly scared of failing at life, and that is the source of much of my restlessness. I want to be GREAT.
9. I'm a dreamer in the thorough-est sense, and sometimes that can distract me from acting on my dreams
10. I'm drawn to people who can vibe with my thoughts, challenge my thinking, provide insight into who I am, discuss current affairs with me, engage in thought-provoking conversations, and see the world on multi-levels like I do
11. "I'm like Che Guevarra with bling on, I'm complex"- I often find myself torn between the innate materialist with a capitalist mentality who dwells within me, and the idealist with humanitarian values and a sometimes overly-whimsical vision of how I can change the world.
12. I place certain people on high pedastools, and unfortunately this has made me all-too familiar with disappointment.
13. I hate all white sauces: ranch, mayonaise, etc.
14. I can be kinda selective when it comes to girls, and that usually gives a wrong impression about me
15. I find I'm usually drawn to women/friends/acquaintances who are older in age

Trading Places

What if you could trade places with someone for a day? Corny? VERY...but It's still one of those intriguing questions to think about. 


I'd definitely love to walk in the shoes of Jay-Z:

"First I snatched the streets, then I snatched the charts,

First I had they ears, now I have their hearts,
Rappers came and went,

I been here from the start.

Seen them put it together,

Watched them take it apart...

This is not an image

This is God given

This is hard livin'..."

I wanna know what it's like to walk onto a stage, and see thousands upon thousands of people cheering for you...

I wanna know what it's like to be quoted by artists, academics, fans and critics alike...

I wanna know what it's like to push limits in a genre I helped shape, a

nd then I wanna know what it's like to set higher bars and reach those too...limitless.

I wanna know what its like to be credited, scorned, and etched in the pages of history by people who have never even heard a hiphop song.

I wanna know what its like to be recognized as a creator, success story, hard worker, artist, and entrepreneur...

I wanna know what it's like to be looked up to by kids who aint got nothing but a dollar and dream and a standard that I set....WOW.

I wanna know what it's like to grind hard for years, make millions off my grind, and then go in even harder..

Most of all, as someone making something out of nothing, I wanna know what it's like to sit in my Italian leather seat, in my penthouse suite, looking out the window at my city-skyline view, and know that I did this all for me...

Ghost Fathers

Shelter doesn't protect, it harms. It hides the rest of the world. How Selfish! Why don't you pop that bubble that you're in, and try to digest what's going on outside of your utopia. Leave your warm domain, and step out into this cold world. 

I was texting a friend of mine about how annoying my parents were being, and he responded, "nigga you need to be thankful you even got both of your parental units." WOW huh? I know, at that point I felt like an ungrateful idiot...so in order to feed my conscience, I decided to write a haiku about the father-less:

Daddy was a ghost

only reason i believe

in what is unseen.

Runaway

Today, when I left a friend's house at Mockingbird Station, I found myself hysterically running to the bus, yet in no real rush to get anywhere. I hit the ground running and literally did not look back (or around, at the startled expressions of my fellow pedestrians) until I’d made it to the station and became distracted with the bus-fare paying.

But do you ever wish you could literally just pick up and runaway from life? Run, to no particular destination but away. Rush, with no time restraint, but with the intention of outrunning your thoughts?

As I felt the wind toying with my hat, resisting against my force I forgot to think. For that instance, for even that brief, fleeting moment, I could forget. Or maybe not forget, as the thoughts came rushing back as soon as I sat down, but rather ignore.  Every doubt that had been spewed in my face, every reminder of my countless screwups, and every angry, bitter, disappointed, mournful voice- everything was silent.

All I could hear, all I could focus on was the rhythm of my steps on the concrete. The rhythm compelling me to keep running, because stopping even for a moment would undo all the unthinking I was doing.

But life doesn’t work that way. You get onto the metaphorical subway, nestled among dozens of your own kind, yet alone and an outsider at the same time. No friendly words or smiles exchanged, and no small talk about the weather outside. And that’s when it all comes rushing in, hitting you like a ton of bricks, one-by-one but within seconds of eachother. A jumble of words, images, phrases and thoughts come flying at you, aimed at your spirit and unrelentless until they do what they came here for: to break you down. Like an unexpecting matador suddenly thrown into a pen of raging bulls, each bearing a haunting resemblance to your own image…

Where can you run now? When you're surrounded? Yet alone...

Empty Malls

Empty, Sunday morning malls have to be the loneliest place on earth…

That’s the thought that resonated through my head as I sat outside of the mall, locked out because for once I did the responsible thing and woke up on time, and put in applications for a part time job. From where I’m sitting, I can see cars passing with every second on the freeway; eager Sunday worshippers and blue collar's making it out to a long day of work. But they seem so far away…Look like miniature green army men. 

But I’m reminded of the unusual lady I randomly bumped into at the bus stop on my way to the mall. What started as a pathetic attempt at saving her from the same fate, I had just met with minutes earlier soon turned into a question of philosophy…weird huh?

The lady, thankful because I had drawn her attention to the puddle of rum and coke she was about to sit in, began slowly unraveling her life’s little details (everything from her age to her occupation). She told me about what she perceived to be Dallas' decline, and about her “friend’s” nickname for the city (“Shitty City… not that he’s one to talk, he looks and smells bad…”).  In her loud, coral pink lipsticked-lips she told me that she was a "true Dallas native, that had seen it all from JFK to the Mavericks losing in the NBA Finals.

Anyway, the point is, this lady was so moved by something as insignificant as me pointing out a puddle that she felt she was able to reveal these facts. 

Random.  The End.

Treasure Hunt

What's your most treasured item?

My MIND

When time takes my most valued possessions, when expensive items I've owned get lost or destroyed, when I wake up and am having an "ugly day", and when people walk in and out of my life, there's one thing I treasure- my mind. I love that I question things. I love that I have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge. I love that I'm insanely curious about the mechanics of the world, and that I seek to learn new things. I love that I can take a critical approach and that I sometimes over-analyze. Actually I over-analyze every second of the day, but that's just what comes with me. I love that I can think pragmatically, but that my creativity allows me to interpret the beauty of things. I don't even intend to sound pompous, I just simply enjoy talking mental jogs, especially about the future. I feel like no one can ever over-think their tomorrows, I'm both infatuated with tomorrow and afraid of tomorrow. That uncertainty is a mean fat b-word you know? 

I value my mind and my thinking process.

Uncertainty

In one of my classes, we started talking about Blaise Pascal and his beliefs. He stated, "It is not certain that everything is certain."
In the class, we discussed: "Pascal's Wager"

Blaise Pascal (a French philosopher) basically IN LAYMAN'S TERMS suggests that it makes the most logical sense to believe in God because that route will produce more to gain and nothing to lose than any other path one lives. He does this by breaking it down:

- belief will lead to: 

a) heaven (if God exists)

b)moral benefits (if God does not exist)

- not believing in God will lead to:

a) hell (if God exists)

 b) immoral consequences (if God does not exist)

Okay sure, I agree this whole theory is a little thin and arid, its one of the first thing that strikes my mind whenever I think of my own place in the perpetually growing map of religion. And those thoughts, especially when shared with most other people, start to make me feel this strange tinge of guilt... maybe even shame? Especially seeing that my father is in the ministry.

Am I really shamed into feeling I should believe in something solid and well-organized?...

Think about it.

Everytime you make/laugh at that little sacreligious joke (What does Jesus order at a bar?... Holy spirits in poor taste. Or how about when you have Sunday off, you've promised to accompany your mom to church and you sleep in? The worst is when you're in someone's home, that someone of course, having made it clear they belong to a religion, and they begin approaching you with questions about your own faith...And you begin to feel it. That little voice inside almost lashing out at you for such a display of "poor spirituality". Or even that you're being watched... and judged... by that Jesus of your joke. And no matter how much you try to fight it inside your head, you can't seem to escape that feeling. Who cares if in the end you've got reason on your side. When's reason ever accepted and appreciated in this world?...

What kind of question was it, if war was the answer?

"Demoralize the enemy from within by surprise, terror, sabotage, assassination. This is the war of the future."

-Adolf Hitler

I hate to start you off with a quote from the devil himself, but I had to set the tone. I just had to! Wanna hear something sobering? In the last 60 years, the US has been intervening in the politics of millions of countries (maybe not millions, but you get the point), attempting to overthrow at least 50 foreign governments since 1945. WOW. Don't you just want to look America in the face and say, "CAN YOU JUST MIND YA BUSINESS?" Oh you call it Protecting democracy? Or maybe preventing any sort of attack on home soil? Using secret intelligence tactics and military power, the US continues to set their sights on foreign intervention in countries all over the world, with a particular scary focus on the Middle East.

Goodness Gracious America, is it that crucial?

• IRAN 1946 
• YUGOSLAVIA 1946 
• URUGUAY 1947 
• GREECE 1947-49 
• GERMANY 1948
• CHINA 1948-49 
• PHILIPPINES 1948-54 
• PUERTO RICO 1950 
• KOREA 1951-?  (they still have bases there)
• IRAN 1953 
• VIETNAM 1954 
• GUATEMALA 1954 
• EGYPT 1956 
• LEBANON l958
• IRAQ 1958
• CHINA l958 
• PANAMA 1958 
• VIETNAM l960-75 (one million killed in longest U.S. war)
• CUBA l961 (CIA-directed exile invasion fails)
• GERMANY l961 
• LAOS 1962 
• CUBA l962 
• IRAQ 1963 
• PANAMA l964 
• INDONESIA l965 
• DOMINICAN REPUBLIC 1965-66 
• GUATEMALA l966-67 
• CAMBODIA l969-75 (Up to 2 million killed in bombing, starvation, and political chaos)
• OMAN l970
• LAOS l971-73 
• CHILE 1973 
• CAMBODIA l975 
• ANGOLA l976-92 
• IRAN l980 
• LIBYA l981 
• EL SALVADOR l981-92 
• NICARAGUA l981-90
• LEBANON l982-84 
• GRENADA l983-84
• HONDURAS l983-89 
• IRAN l984 
• LIBYA 1985
• BOLIVIA 1986
• IRAN l987-88 
• LIBYA 1989 
• PHILIPPINES 1989 
• PANAMA 1989 (2000+ killed.)
• LIBERIA 1990 
• SAUDI ARABIA 1990-91 
• IRAQ 1990-91 
• KUWAIT 1991 
• IRAQ 1991-2003
• SOMALIA 1992-94 
• YUGOSLAVIA 1992-94
• BOSNIA 1993
• HAITI 1994 
• LIBERIA 1997 
• ALBANIA 1997 
• SUDAN 1998 
• AFGHANISTAN 1998 
• IRAQ 1998 
• YUGOSLAVIA 1999 
• YEMEN 2000 
• MACEDONIA 2001 
• AFGHANISTAN 2001-? 
• YEMEN 2002 
• PHILIPPINES 2002-? 
• COLOMBIA 2003-? 
• IRAQ 2003-? 
• LIBERIA 2003
• HAITI 2004-05
• PAKISTAN 2005-? 
• SOMALIA 2006-? 
• SYRIA 2008 
• YEMEN 2009-?
• YOUR COUNTRY- 2011-?

(List compiled by Dr. Grossman)